By: Chikicha News Network
June 14, 2025 — Manila, Philippines
In a bold and unexpected move, President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. has signed Executive Order No. 888, officially declaring a mandatory national siesta break from 1:00 PM to 2:30 PM daily, citing "the need for rest, reflection, and digestion after lunch."
“The Filipino people are hardworking,” said Marcos during his press briefing held in a hammock. “But even the most powerful jeep needs to cool down its engine.”
Under the new law, all government offices, private companies, and even fast-food chains must observe the siesta, with the exception of 7-Eleven and Jollibee drive-thrus, which the President described as “essential infrastructure.”
💤 “Pahinga Para sa Bayan” Campaign Launched
The campaign — translated as “Rest for the Nation” — includes distributing free eye masks, foldable banigs, and relaxing background music by APO Hiking Society to all government workers.
Schools will also begin “Nap 101” modules, teaching children breathing techniques and ideal sleeping postures for plastic chairs.
🧼 Mixed Reactions
Some netizens praised the policy, saying it's “the most Filipino law ever passed,” while others were skeptical.
“How do we nap in traffic?” one commuter asked from a 3-hour-long EDSA gridlock.
Senator Bato dela Rosa proposed building “National Napping Centers” in every barangay, starting with his own house.
🐔 Rooster Alert System in Testing
To gently wake citizens up, Malacañang is also piloting a “Rooster Alert System” — a nationwide app that plays a synchronized “tiktilaok” at the end of siesta time. Testing begins in Batangas next week.
Disclaimer:
This article is 100% fictional and intended for satirical or comedic purposes only. No actual events, statements, or policies mentioned are real.
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